(As well as the questions below, please click here to view an article I wrote for Optima Magazine about counselling in general terms.)

What is counselling?

The BACP definition of counselling:

“Counselling takes place when a counsellor sees a client in a private and confidential setting to explore a difficulty the client is having, distress they may be experiencing or perhaps their dissatisfaction with life, or loss of a sense of direction and purpose. It is always at the request of the client as no one can properly be 'sent' for counselling.

By listening attentively and patiently the counsellor can begin to perceive the difficulties from the client's point of view and can help them to see things more clearly, possibly from a different perspective. Counselling is a way of enabling choice or change or of reducing confusion. It does not involve giving advice or directing a client to take a particular course of action. Counsellors do not judge or exploit their clients in any way.
In the counselling sessions the client can explore various aspects of their life and feelings, talking about them freely and openly in a way that is rarely possible with friends or family. Bottled up feelings such as anger, anxiety, grief and embarrassment can become very intense and counselling offers an opportunity to explore them, with the possibility of making them easier to understand. The counsellor will encourage the expression of feelings and as a result of their training will be able to accept and reflect the client's problems without becoming burdened by them.

Acceptance and respect for the client are essentials for a counsellor and, as the relationship develops, so too does trust between the counsellor and client, enabling the client to look at many aspects of their life, their relationships and themselves which they may not have considered or been able to face before. The counsellor may help the client to examine in detail the behaviour or situations which are proving troublesome and to find an area where it would be possible to initiate some change as a start. The counsellor may help the client to look at the options open to them and help them to decide the best for them.”

How many sessions will I need?

That depends on you and what you are hoping to achieve. A single session may be all you need to feel able to move on in a more fruitful way or you may find that a few sessions are needed. If you are looking to achieve very substantial changes in your life, counselling may need to be longer term.

How might counselling help me?

Counselling enables you to have the time and space to reflect on your situation. Just talking through your situation, putting your thoughts across to someone else, hearing your concerns understood and reflected back to you, is often enough for you to begin to make more sense of the situation.

Exploring more deeply how you have come to be in this situation and the meaning you give to it may help you to begin to see other possibilities for the future.

As counselling progresses, you may want to test out new ideas you have about moving forward. You may want to talk things through so that you are better equipped to deal with the challenges that may lie ahead. In between sessions you may experiment with different ways of doing things and then analyse your experiences in counselling.

Will you tell me what to do?

You might not think it now, but I believe you already have everything you need to resolve your difficulties. Somewhere along the line, you may have lost sight of these resources and counselling can help you to rediscover them.

You won’t be given advice because different things work for different people – and I will endeavour to help you find the way forward that works best for you. I cannot stress enough that you are the expert in your life even if you may struggle to believe this at the moment.

Who should come to counselling?

You may wish to come alone, bring a partner or a friend or family members. The counselling is flexible enough to accommodate, on a session by session basis, whoever may be useful in helping you to resolve your difficulties.

How often will I have to come to counselling?

Again, the counselling is flexible. Depending on your circumstances and how counselling progresses, we can arrange sessions to be at varying intervals of between a week and a month, or more.